


Heart’s longing

by Lord_of_Spirits_and_Bazongas



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:06:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9357470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_of_Spirits_and_Bazongas/pseuds/Lord_of_Spirits_and_Bazongas
Summary: A lot of time has passed since Marian Hawke left Kirkwall, leaving behind not only her friends and family, but also the woman she loved: Merrill. The life of Merrill is now more hectic than ever before, yet she finds herself missing her beloved on a daily basis. Everything changes, however, when she receives a mysterious letter.First chapter is SFW, while the second one is NSFW.





	1. Chapter 1

Life in Kirkwall had changed drastically over the past few years. At first, Merrill had been nothing more than a distant observer to the changes happening in the city, only to eventually find herself in a position where countless lives depended on her. As a keeper, and now the voice of city elves, Merrill’s daily schedule was busy to say the least, but she welcomed the change and her new duties with with open arms. Every day was a struggle, but at the same time, also rewarding.  
  
But when the day was done and she was back at her own place, she felt alone.  
  
What Anders had started had began a chain of events that had made it impossible for anyone to simply remain neutral, or act like nothing had changed. The once lively Kirkwall didn’t feel the same anymore. Not without Isabela teaching her how to flirt, or Varric ‘fabricating,’ or as he liked to put it, ‘enlivening’ stories about Hawke and her adventures. Out of everyone that had left Kirkwall, there was one person Merrill found herself missing the most.  
  
“Marian…” She whispered out the name, hoping that perhaps a merciful Creator would hear and fulfill her plea.  
  
Marian Hawke, or the Champion of Kirkwall, as she was more commonly known, had also been forced to leave the Kirkwall when the situation between mages and templars had truly started to escalate to the burning point. With everyone wanting her and her name as a part of their cause, the only choice she truly had was to leave; but it hadn’t been an easy decision to make.  
  
Merrill still remembered that day vividly. They had talked about the situation and come to the conclusion that it’d be foolish; downright dangerous; for Hawke to remain in Kirkwall right now. Even with all the chaos stirring throughout the city, Merrill knew that she couldn’t leave. Not with so many lives dependant on her. While these elves weren’t the ones she had grown with, they were now more or less her family. For once, her name wasn’t a curse, but rather a beacon of hope. She was their protector. Their guardian. She wouldn’t abandon them during their time of need. She couldn’t leave them, but she couldn’t simply abandon Hawke either. Yet when forced to make an impossible decision, Merrill knew she didn’t really have a choice.  
  
But choosing between what was right and what her heart desired was never easy.  
  
When Merrill closed her eyes, she could feel Marian’s touch as if she was living their last night together once more. When words weren’t enough, they had let their bodies do the talking for them. They both knew that the night could be the last one they’d ever get to spend together, so nothing had been left unspoken. Nothing had been left undone.  
  
Merrill felt her eyes tearing up as she heard her own name echoing inside of her head. Normally sarcastic and witty, it had been a rare moment for her to see Marian openly weak. She didn’t want to leave her side after everything they had both been through. Those days of lazing around in bed until Marian’s mabari broke his way into their bedroom were still so fresh in Merrill’s memory; yet at the same time, it all felt like a distant dream now.  
  
This night would be like many nights before. Merrill was exhausted, yet she couldn’t sleep. Her body was aching for rest, but her mind was restlessly wandering from one memory to another. She whispered out the name of her beloved once more, then another time, yet this time there was no demon coming out of an ancient artifact to offer her what her heart desired, even if she was willing to give anything for it.  
  
 _Ma vhenan_ …   
  
Clutching onto her pillow, Merrill closed her eyes, hoping that she’d get at least a few hours of sleep before she’d have to wake up again. If the busy days had one thing going for them, it was definitely the fact that they kept Merrill so occupied that she didn’t have a moment to be left alone with her lingering thoughts.   
  
_I miss you so much..._  
  
*  
  
“You simply cannot remain neutral about this,” An old man in a heavy and weary armor said in a rather intimidating voice. To his surprise, the elf in front of him didn’t seem to be shaken at all by his words or his menacing looks, unlike most people he got involved with. “You elves must pick a side, and I very heavily suggest you choose the _right side_.”  
  
Merrill didn’t need to ask what he thought this ‘right side’ was, as templars were more than easy to spot with their trademark metal plate armor, purple skirt, and of course, cylindrical helmets that this person, though, was lacking completely. _A higher rank perhaps? Or maybe just a fool?_ _  
_ _  
_As a safekeeper, Merrill knew the value of diplomacy. Being truly diplomatic was, in many ways, like an artform of it’s own. One that anyone could learn. Mastering it, however, was another thing entirely. Being a good diplomat was all about pleasing everyone involved; but what separated the good and the best was the ability to suppress one’s personal feelings. One wrong choice of words could have disastrous results, so it was vital that Merrill chose her words carefully. What she truly thought could very rarely be spoken out loud. As someone who was tired of seeing her people being mistreated, she refused to see anymore of them getting hurt. Especially for such a meaningless cause that most of them had nothing to do with.  
  
“I’m grateful that you took some time from your surely busy schedule,” Merrill started with a faint, faked smile on her face. It always paid off to be polite, even to people who didn’t deserve it. If she were to treat him the way he was treating her, this discussion would be over before it could truly even start. Even though Merrill wished for that exact thing, she didn’t wish for the aftermath that’d surely follow. “But as you can see, we’re still very much rebuilding our alienage here. Our part in Kirkwall is very small, as someone as…” Merrill hesitated for a split second to come up with a proper words of appraisal. “...Knowledgeable as you surely knows. Unlike most societies and groups within Kirkwall, we’re very dependant on one another to survive and thrive.”   
  
Before the man could get a chance to step in and try to argue with her, Merrill continued: “Now you’re surely thinking that everyone here has lost something or someone as of late, which is very much true. The rebuilding process during these times is long and hard, but most communities have at least a sort of safehaven to fall back onto. But for us, this alienage is all we have left, so we can’t really spare anyone or anything as of now. Not until we have managed to rebuild this.”  
  
“You are simply coming up with excuses--”  
  
Merrill was about to let this _shemlen_ know just what she truly thought of him, but she was stopped by a distressed cry of a newborn baby coming from a short distance. It came at a perfect moment, calming down the tense situation. _Clearly a family man,_ Merrill remarked to herself and then wrote it down as the man was looking away for a moment.  
  
“Perhaps we can continue this discussion another time then,” The man grunted. “But don’t think that this is over just yet.”  
  
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Merrill said sarcastically, masking it all behind her forced smile, as she waved until the door to her office was slammed shut.  
  
“Ma ghilana mir din’an…” Merrill sighed as she fell onto her chair. The path of least resistance wasn’t nearly as easy to achieve as many thought it would be. Visits like these had, at first, been a monthly occurrence, but nowadays, they had changed from weekly to almost daily. It was exhausting beyond words. Especially with the tricks up her sleeve and excuses for their indecisiveness running dangerously low. If only she was here now. _She could make some sense out of this mess. I just know it.  
  
_ Merrill’s time was cut short, as almost as soon as the door was shut, someone was already knocking on it once again. “Come on in.” Merrill blurted out wearily.  
  
This time, the visitor was someone Merrill was actually pleased to see. Getting mail was rarely a good thing, as a lot of people used it to say what they were thinking, rather than doing so face to face; but every now and then, there was something within those stacks that brought a smile to her face.   
  
“Is there anything important here? Something that I should check first?” Merrill inquired, as she started to shuffle through the hefty stack of letters.  
  
“I don’t really go through them,” The young boy quickly replied. “But I noticed that one of them has some sort of seal on it. I don’t know what it is, but it looks rather important. And if I’m not mistaken, it’s directed straight to you, rather than just to the alienage or the representative.”  
  
“Ma serannas,” Merrill said as she bowed down her head. “If you could ensure that no one interrupts me for a moment unless it’s absolutely urgent, I’d be very grateful. I need to go through these letters in peace.”  
  
“Absolutely,” The boy nodded, closing the door behind him as he took his leave.  
  
Merrill quickly scanned through the letters to make sure there wasn’t anything important within them. As she had expected, it was nothing out of the ordinary. Mostly, it consisted of bills or threats. At the bottom of it all, though, was the previously mentioned letter. It stood out from the rest in many ways. For starters, the material was a lot higher in quality than your average letter. Just what it was made of exactly, Merrill wasn’t fully certain, but it could endure even harsh climate and still remain intact. It seemed to have been through quite the journey to get into her hands, judging by the slightly damaged parchment.  
  
 _I very rarely get letters addressed to me directly these days,_ Merrill pondered as she rotated the letter in her hands. As she leaned in closer, in hopes of finding more clues as to who had send it to her, she saw something written underneath her name. _Ma… vhenan?_ Was this some sort of practical joke? What was interesting about it all, was the fact that the person who had written that part clearly wasn’t the one who had written her name and her address. The handwriting was drastically different. The one who had written the most of it was definitely a professional, while the person who had written only that one part most likely spent their time wielding a sword rather than a quill.  
  
As her curiosity was getting the best of her, Merrill started to gently tear open the wax seal. She was unsure what the marking on it was, but judging from it all, it was clearly from someone important. But why was it sent to her? After managing to open up the letter, Merrill spread it out on her desk.   
  
_To Merrill._ _  
_ _  
_ _It sure has been a while, hasn’t it? Yeah. It’s me. Marian._ _  
_ _  
_Merrill let out a gasp as she read the name of her beloved. After the initial shock had passed, she continued reading.  
  
 _First, you might have noticed that this isn’t really my handwriting. That is true. These are my words, but you can thank the Inquisition for handling this. I’m not sure if Varric has told you about this already, but if you ever happen to meet up Josephine, you can thank her for this. You know that my penmanship is... well... kinda poor, and I really wanted you to be able to read this. And besides, they own me a favor for helping them out. I’ll fill you in later on what has happened to me lately, but that’s not really why I’m writing you now.  
  
_ It took Merrill a moment to realize that she was genuinely laughing. How long had it been since the last time? This person was definitely _her_. She just knew it. Even with her lips curled up into a smile so wide it hurt her cheeks, Merrill was quick to continue reading.  
  
 _I miss you. By the Maker, by the Creators and by the Dread Wolf, as you like to say, I miss you. This time spent away from you, I really thought after losing so much, I’d be used to it, but as it turns out, I’m nowhere near as strong as I thought I’d be. Now, I know you’re already saying to yourself; ‘Hawke, don’t say something like that!’ with that cute pout you always made when we got into an argument--_ _  
_ _  
_Merrill realized she was making that exact face right now. If she wasn’t certain that this was Marian before, she most certainly was now.  
  
 _\--, but it’s true. I’m weak without you. I miss seeing you first thing when I wake up, playing with my hair. I miss the sound of your voice, and your sweet, sweet laughter. I miss the way you looked at me before kissing me. I miss how you had to tiptoe to reach me, but it never held you back._  
  
Merrill gulped as she felt her eyes tearing up. So long had she been alone with these thoughts, only to now realize she wasn’t the only one feeling this way. The agony she had lived with was shared by her beloved. She felt the exact same pain. The very same longing that had tormented her for what felt like an eternity at this point. _Oh, Hawke. I miss it all too…  
  
_ _I wanted to write to you because I felt bad for having to leave so soon. We were just planning our future together before all of this shit happened. To be fair, I’m not sure when this chaos will settle down. These are dangerous times, but I want you to know that I want to face it all, whatever the future holds, together. That hasn’t changed, nor will it. You are my heart, Merrill. You are the reason I wake up every day and go through this madness. I have lost so much, yet you were always there for me, no matter what. I don’t want a life without you in it._ _  
_ _  
_ _As this letter is making it’s way to you, I’m making my way back to Kirkwall. I don’t know how long that will take, but please, don’t worry about me. I know that is your nature, so you can’t really help it, but try to get some rest and look after yourself. If not for your own sake, then for mine, okay?_ _  
_ _  
_ _I hope--_ Merrill rubbed her eyes, seeing that the part was written over, but not erased properly.  
 _I know we’ll be reunited soon. Let’s plan out our future together, me vhenan (I got that right, didn’t I?)_ _  
_ _  
_ _\- Marian Hawke._ _  
_ __  
Merrill had fought back her tears as long as she could, but it was a fight she knew she was destined to lose. She was coming back. Marian Hawke was coming back to Kirkwall.


	2. Chapter 2

  
It had been a few months since Merrill had received the letter, but for some reason it didn’t feel like such a long time. Every day was more or less the same when it came to her daily routines, as Merrill was more or less drowned in work. Signing papers, attending meetings or simply making sure that everyone in the alienage was in good health, kept her busy, yet she found herself invigorated now that she had something to look forward to again.    
  
With Anders and his clinic gone, there were even more people in need of proper healthcare. Merrill didn’t have the attunement for healing magic, so she had to learn how to treat wounds and sickness’ the traditional way. She had wanted to learn how to cure at least minor wounds, as that skill would be quite handy for a blood mage such as her, but with Marian being the one to treat her wounds most of the time after every battle, and at times outside of it, there had been no need for that.   
  
By some miracle, the tension still hadn’t escalated so out of hand that the city elves within Kirkwell would have to pick a side. Even though most of the people she knew from her time spent in Kirkwall with Hawke had left the city, voluntarily or not, Aveline had stayed. Under her watch, the city had at least some sort of stability going on, even with the mage and templar war still raging on.   
  
It was a rare occasion that both Aveline and Merrill had some time off to see each other, but thanks to their respective, high positions, they could meet up due to their line of work, even with schedules that barely had any free time to do anything other than sleep, and sometimes not even that.   
  
“I’d love to stay longer and chat with you, Merrill, but unfortunately my time is even more limited than yours,” Aveline sighed as she stood up, bowing to Merrill before picking up her sword and shield from the nearby chair. “I’m happy to see that the alienage is still standing strong. I trust that the templars haven’t been harassing you too much?” Aveline’s voice was as strong and determined as always, but Merrill could notice the hint of concern in it. It did make sense, as Aveline had been busy trying to keep everything under control, and didn’t have that much time to look after individuals such as her.   
  
“I understand,” Merrill was quick to reply. It was nice to see a familiar face after everything that had went down lately, even if only for a few fleeting minutes. “I’m glad to hear that you and Donnic are doing great. Every little bit of good news is much needed these days,” Merrill said, flashing Aveline a quick, but genuine smile to go with it. “And no. I mean, sure, they do come in here from time to time, but if there’s one thing I learned from all my time spend around Hawke, it’s that you can always talk your way out of sticky situations. Or well, most of the time, at least.”   
  
Aveline was already about to take her leave, but turned to look at Merrill over her shoulder instead. “I forgot to mention, but I received a letter today from Hawke.”   
  
Merrill’s ears perked up. She stood up, but before she could ask further information, Aveline was already continuing: “She’s coming here tonight. She asked for protection, because she doesn’t want to be recognized immediately. I suppose you have something to do with this,” Even if part of Aveline wanted to scold the blood mage for not telling her something like this sooner, just so she could make the needed preparations, she knew it was something she should save for another time. Merrill had done an irreplaceable job as the head of the elves; making sure that they wouldn’t get into the eye of the storm; which in turn made her life a lot easier.    
  
“Well…” Merrill chuckled nervously. She didn’t have to say anything, as Aveline could easily put the story together in her head. Marian was coming back to Kirkwall, and given the fact that the situation was, in many ways, the same as it had been back then, she couldn’t blame Hawke for wanting to remain hidden for a while. Making sure that she and Merrill would get to spend some time alone, just the two of them, was the least she could do; not only as the guard captain, but also as their close friend.   
  
“I’ll make sure she gets here safely, and that you two can get some time alone. You have my word,” Aveline said. As a testimony of that, she hit her shield once with her sword. Not that Merrill needed any reassuring of Aveline’s dedication to her job, or proof of her skills, but it did bring a smile to her face to see that she cared so much.   
  
“I can’t thank you enough,” Merrill bowed down her head.   
  
“There’s no need to be like that,” Aveline said with a weary smile. “I’m just happy to see you smiling again. After everything that we’ve all been through, it’s the one thing I want to protect more than anything.”   
  
*   
  
Merrill had done her best to drown herself in work; taking care of everything she could before her beloved would arrive. However, as one might expect, she was far too excited to focus properly. Singing her name on documents was easy enough, as it only really required a steady hand, but going through the actual content to ensure she didn’t sign anything she shouldn’t felt like a monumental task. She didn’t care about such things. At least not now. There were stacks of letters and parchments scattered all over her desk, yet Merrill found herself focusing. Fixating on just one of them.   
  
_ Let’s plan out our future together, me vhenan. _ __   
__   
Merrill couldn’t help herself not to laugh as she was imagining Marian trying to say the elven words of affection. Even with her poor, or at times, butchered attempts, Merrill still found it all endearing. In the end, it was the thought that counted, after all.   
  
The weather outside was doing its best to calm down the nervous mage, but even the sound of dripping water hitting the roof and the windows did little to help her calm down. It was impossible to focus on anything, when she knew her beloved could step in any second now. To imagine that something like that could happen. For so long, Merrill had suppressed such selfish thoughts, and neglected her own needs and desires in order to be the person people needed her to be. Now, all of those feelings, all of those desires were rushing back at once. Merrill’s hands shook as she tapped the wooden table, hoping that’d somehow make her feel less nervous.   
  
When the door hinge twisted and slowly turned, Merrill’s drowsy eyes flashed wide open. If the person on the other side was anyone else than the one she had in mind, she might just result in using language she’d very rarely use. The door opened up, but Merrill couldn’t tell who was on the other side because of how dark it was outside, and with the person wearing a big, dark robe that hid their identity rather well.   
  
“Hawke? Is that… really you?” Merrill hesitated to ask; her voice on the brink of tearing up.   
  
The person standing didn’t say anything at first, as they simply stood there, watching and waiting. After a few seconds, that to Merrill felt like agonizing eternity, the hood came off, revealing that familiar black hair, that ever so cocky grin and the trademark dried blood painting across her nose. “Missed me?”   
  
Merrill tried to think of some sort of witty comeback, but words failed her. There were no words fitting in that moment, as they couldn’t possibly sum up what and how she felt. Only actions could speak for her now. Knowing that, she stood up from behind her desk, walking towards Marian, slowly at first, but then closing the distance by running before taking a leap, clutching onto the taller woman.   
  
“Hey, hey, easy now,” Marian laughed. Merrill could tell that Hawke was just as emotional as she was, but rather than show it as openly as she was, she was doing her best to hide it all behind the seemingly endless amounts of sarcasm and witty one liners.    
  
However, not even she could keep her feelings bottled up, as now that she got to hold her beloved once more in her arms...see her smile...see that look in her eyes that put her soul at ease, Marian felt her eyes tearing up. She was a proud warrior. A larger than life hero for many, if all the songs sung in taverns or Varric’s tales were to be believed; but deep down she was still a human being, with feelings and weakness’ like anybody else. So often people expected her to be the hero the endless stories had made her to be in ears of the people around the world, but around Merrill she felt like being truly honest to herself.   
  
The two shared a loving look at each other, just like back when Merrill had managed to gather up her courage to come and confess her feelings for Hawke. Merrill still remembered how warm her hand felt caressing her cheek, and how relieving it had been to hear that she wasn’t the only one with such strong feelings. Just like then, this time Merrill felt that same burning passion inside of her; growing with each hungry glance they were giving one another.   
  
Somehow they had been able to prolong the inevitable kiss, but not for too long. With her arms wrapped around Marian’s head, they both gave in to their desires. One hungry pair of lips met another, with their tongues meeting up to dance in the middle. Through the little gaps that their lips left, they heard the other person moaning out their name, with both longing and lust in their voice.   
  
“ _ Hawke, _ ” Merrill repeated the name as their kiss broke. The saliva bridge was still hanging between their mouths, connecting the two even when their lips weren’t embracing each other.   
  
“Shh,” Marian said, her lips curling up into a delightful smirk as she saw just how desperate the normally reserved blood mage was right now. “We should leave the romantic confessions and such for later. I haven’t had a good fuck ever since I left Kirkwall, and I was kinda hoping that you’d give me one as a welcome gift.”   
  
Merrill, even when nearly overwhelmed by the rush of emotions, ended up giggling and snorting upon hearing Hawke’s proposal. It was so like her, to be witty and ever so charming, no matter the situation. This was the woman she remembered. The woman who had been there for her when she needed support the most. Now, she was back, and even if the Dread Wolf himself would try to come and tear them apart, Merrill wouldn’t let that happen.   
  
“I wanted to get you a proper gift, actually, but with all the work and such in the way, I didn’t really have the ti--” Merrill bumbled until she was interrupted by a finger pressed on her lips.   
  
“I don’t care about such things,” Marian shook her head. “I already have the perfect gift right here. My very own little Dalish cake.” Hawke cooed, lifting up Merrill in the air before giving her a quick kiss.   
  
Merrill couldn’t help herself not to smile; her lips curling up so much that Hawke could see her dimples form. “You’re such a charmer. Always so good with words.” Merrill giggled.   
  
“Well, why don’t we put this silver tongue to a good use then?”   
  
With Merrill being held up in the air so easily, Marian had easy access to choose where the two would get to continue with their lovemaking. With a quick glance around the room, even with Merrill clutching onto her and kissing at her neck, Marian managed to get a quick overview of Merrill’s office. She found one particular spot she had always wanted to try out, but it came with a small risk associated to it. In the heat of the moment though, she didn’t feel like asking for permission. Instead she pushed aside the papers and parchments alike; scattering them over the desk before placing Merrill on top of it.   
  
“Sorry,” Marian lied. “But I’ve actually always wanted to do this.”   
  
Merrill knew she couldn’t stay mad at Hawke, even if she wanted to. A little bit more work for the future was a small price for this. As if to prove that she was more than willing to go along with Hawke’s idea, Merrill locked her legs around Marian’s waist, pulling her closer to her, and pushing away everything else that was in their way.   
  
“Don’t be.” Merrill commented in the midst of her heated kissing; letting go of Marian’s neck momentarily to look straight into her eyes. “Truth be told, I’ve, at times, thought of you and me doing it right here, on this very desk. All of that paperwork gets so boring at times, and when I stay up here until nightfall, at times I thought of you and…”   
  
Marian let out a surprised, but at the same time, proud whistle. “Ooh, look at you.” She cooed, her smirk turning into a grin. “Quite daring, if I may say so myself. But how about instead of just talking, we turn those fantasies into a reality?”   
  
Merrill didn’t answer with words. Instead she let Marian know what she was thinking by pulling out her scarf and the top of her tabard with one quick and smooth swing. Marian was quick to catch the clue, as she aided Merrill with her chainmail by removing the straps and bindings that kept it on her. The sound of metal hitting the floor had never sounded as satisfying to Marian as it did in that moment.   
  
While Marian admittedly missed Merrill’s ramblings and her cute smile the most, she had also spent countless nights thinking about the two of them with no clothes, and nothing scheduled to get between them. Now, she was seeing some of that beauty again, as the only thing keeping Merrill’s chest hidden was a simple leather bra. How easily it’d come off; yet Marian waited; wanting to prolong the moment, if only for a little bit longer. It was unclear which one of them wanted to make the next move first, as they both savored the stillness; glancing at each other; exchanging their thoughts and desires even without a single word being uttered out loud.   
  
Remembering the talk about gifts, Merrill decided to be the one to take the next step. With one hand behind her back and other guiding Hawke’s gaze by holding her hair, she let her bra fall off to the ground. Merrill’s plan of guiding Hawke’s head was quick to fail, as the champion of Kirkwall leaned in towards her on her own; not waiting for her elven lover to do it for her.   
  
Hawke had always enjoyed Merrill’s taste, and this time was certainly no different. Even above that, there was something else she paid far greater attention to than the Dalish’s unique flavor. Merrill had always been quite expressive, and Marian was delighted to see that even with time and distance between them, that much hadn’t changed. From the moment she got to feel the curves of Merrill’s mounds with her strong, yet sensitive fingers, she saw Merrill’s expression change. How she had missed all of this. She was a fool to let go of it. No longer would she be willing to oblige by what other people demanded. It was high time she started to live the life she had built for herself. Especially now that it had the most gorgeous woman imaginable part of it as well.   
  
“Have I ever told you just how sexy you look when you look at me like that?” Marian asked while dragging her tongue through the space between Merrill’s breasts, stopping there for a moment before tilting her head so she could give one of her erect nipples a slow and sensual lick.   
  
“You have. Please  _ ven felas, ma vhenan _ .” Merrill whispered back, knowing fully well how much Hawke loved to hear her throw in some Elvish when things got heated like this.   
  
“Are you begging or was that a command?” Marian chuckled, licking her lips clean before diving back in, this time pinching the erect nub in between her teeth in hopes of getting one of those delightfully loud and high toned moans out of her gorgeous lover.   
  
Just like Hawke had planned, that exact thing happened. Marian hadn’t had time to see if all the windows were shut, but at this point it didn’t matter. Should anyone hear them, they could either listen or try their best to ignore it, but she wasn’t going to stop. Not for their, or anyone else’s sake. What mattered to her; the only thing that mattered to her; was  _ Merrill _ .    
  
Marian could tell from just by looking at Merrill’s ever changing expressions that she needed to move on before she was the one pushed onto the table. There was time for jokes and the ever present teasing, but this time wasn’t one of them. The heat and longing the two felt for each other was almost unbearable at this point. To relieve that burning desire, the two of them helped each other get rid of their clothes, throwing away most of their remaining clothes in the midst of their hazy, lust filled kissing.   
  
“ _ Hawke… _ ” Merrill begged desperately, glancing at the woman who was now spreading out her legs and positioning herself in between them. “ _ Tu ma garas… _ ”   
  
Marian couldn’t help but to find Merrill, even when she was in such a needy state, absolutely endearing. She could easily tug her hair and shove her head right where they both know she was heading for, yet Merrill still wanted her to be the one doing it. Marian knew just how horny she was, even without looking at what was presented right in front of her. The raw scent of arousal alone gave it up. Not only that, but the mere lust reflecting from those green eyes told her just how much arousal the young Dalish woman had within her.   
  
“Don’t worry, I won’t be leaving you like this,” Marian winked before lowering her head up until she was mere inches away from Merrill’s entrance. “As if I could resist you in the first place. Let me tell you just how much I’ve missed you.”   
  
Part of Merrill wanted to ask just how Hawke could speak with her mouth occupied, but she realized what she meant when she felt the touch of her lover’s familiar tongue. Closing her eyes, Merrill felt it travel all over her thighs, avoiding her lips at first just to build up what already felt like a furnace before diving straight in. Merrill wanted to fully focus on feeling Hawke’s tongue, but she couldn’t pass up the opportunity of seeing Hawke, just in case all of this was her mind playing cruel tricks on her. It all felt so real, yet could she possibly be dreaming? Wanting to make sure, Merrill grabbed a hold of Hawke’s hair, lifting up her already soaked chin.   
  
“Hawke, is that really, really you? You’re not just my imagination or anything like that?” Merrill pleaded; voice sounding both heated and desperate at the same time. “This isn’t just some dream, right? You’re really here? That is really you, is it not?”   
  
Even though she was in a position that normally wasn’t the most romantic one out there, Marian reached out to grab a hold of Merrill’s hand, interlocking her fingers with hers. They could both feel each other’s warmth as they shared the moment with each other. “Merrill, it is me. I won’t be leaving you ever again. I can’t even imagine a life without you in it. I want a life, and a future with you and you alone.” Marian confessed. To ensure Merrill that she indeed wasn’t just having an exceptionally enjoyable dream, Marian gave her ass a quick slap that echoed inside the room for a short moment. “Do you need anymore convincing or can I get back at enjoying my Dalish cake?”   
  
Merrill snickered and shook her head. “That’s more than enough,” She smiled back at her beloved, gesturing for her to continue. “Please, continue.”   
  
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Marian nodded, licking her lips clean from the little wetness she had already been able to gather.   
  
Merrill’s office was quickly filled with the Dalish’s moans; ranging from short and rapid to long and high pitched as Marian’s tongue hit all of her spots, and didn’t neglect even the hardest of places to reach. She was determined to see her beloved squirm, and that was exactly what she was getting. If the way Merrill repeated out of her name as if it was some sort of ancient prayer wasn’t good enough of an indication that she was enjoying herself, then the almost seemingly overwhelming amount of wetness spilling out was. Marian, like always, was hungry like a starved animal, as she gathered every last drop either straight from the source, or as it dripped down Merrill’s thighs. Seeing her shiver and twitch only encouraged her further; wanting to hear that delightful scream she had missed ever so much. With Merrill’s clit popping up, Marian shifted her focus onto that in hopes of seeing her beloved truly lose herself in pleasure.   
  
“ _ Hawke… _ ” Merrill panted, biting at her lower lip almost hard enough to draw blood. She was already reaching her point of no return. The warm pressure building up to the boiling point, but she didn’t want this to be over just yet. She wanted to prolong the inevitable; but with each hungry stroke of Hawke’s talented tongue, it was becoming increasingly harder for the young blood mage not to ride out her waves of pleasure against her beloved’s smug face.  _ “Elvarel, elvarel. Please, tel’felas…” _ __   
__   
Marian had practiced some Elvish during her time away from Kirkwall, but what she knew simply covered the basics, leaving her to guess just what Merrill was saying. Luckily, the situation provided the context, so it didn’t take a linguistic genius to figure out just what she was saying or wanting. The way Merrill’s fingers lost themselves in Hawke’s hair, pulling the taller woman right in between her legs as if desperately wanting to make sure she’d stay there told Hawke more than enough. She knew that her Dalish lover wouldn’t be able to last for much longer. As to prepare herself for that, Marian opened up her mouth even wider, wordlessly encouraging Merrill to let go.   
  
Such an honest and open display was Merrill’s undoing. With one last scream of her lover’s name, one that rivaled even Aveline’s battle cries, she was brought over the edge.   
  
Merrill could only watch as Hawke didn’t stop pleasing her even for a second. Even with her juices spilling over her tongue and face, some dripping onto the wooden table right below, she showed no signs of stopping before Merrill either had nothing left to give, or she’d hear her pleading to stop. With so much time between them and their last time, the latter one wasn’t even an option. Arching her neck and closing her eyes, Merrill thanked the Creators for the gift that was Hawke. All the while feeling her tongue working overtime to ensure that she’d know just how much she had been missed.   
  
“A-ar lath… Ar lath ma, Hawke,” Merrill panted, her chest rising up and down in rhythm of her heavy breathing.   
  
Marian rose up from between Merrill’s legs, but not before planting one last kiss down there. Licking her lips clean, she leaned in closer to steal a kiss from the other pair of lips, the taste just as intoxicating as the one she had just had. “I love you too,” Marian reassured the teary eyed Dalish.   
  
“I’ve missed you, so… so…” Merrill fought back her tears, even though she knew it was a battle she was destined to lose. For so long she had neglected herself and her own needs and desires to the point where she had forgotten what happiness felt like. All of her doubts and self loathing feelings were slowly fading away, now that she was seeing that familiar smile with her own eyes. Just to reassure herself that she wasn’t dreaming, she reached out to feel her cheek; feeling just how warm her beloved felt.   
  
Marian looked down at the ground for a moment before glancing back at Merrill. She wasn’t so good at displaying her emotions, so crying, even when it was just two of them, was a lot harder of a task for her to overcome. The bitter tears she had held back came out though, dripping one by one, joining the other small pool right below them. “I know how people think I always know what to say, but to be honest with you, there are times when I don’t,” Marian confessed. “You’ve made me feel things that I thought had long gone. I… when I was away, I couldn’t help but to think about you. About us. I was, I… I am so tired of giving up and losing everything, yet the thought of seeing you again kept me going. I don’t know if that makes me pathetic or what, but I just…” Marian took her time, carefully choosing her words. Her train of thought was cut short, however, when she felt the Dalish’s lips pressed up against her own. Tears from her eyes trailed down, joining the slowly dripping waterfall with Merrill’s, as the two held onto each other.   
  
“From now on, I’m not going to let anyone take you away from me.” Merrill whispered into Hawke’s ear. With the emotional confessions out of the way, at least for now, Merrill felt her libido kicking right back in. To let Hawke know this, she gave her ear a teasing nibble, before marking her thick neck with a bite that’d let any passer by know what the champion had been up to lately.   
  
“And I’m not planning to leave you or this fantastic ass of yours either,” Marian chuckled, lifting Merrill up from the partly coated desk. The paperwork and proper cleaning up would have to wait, as their reunion was far from over. “How about we head back to your place for now? I know that the bed at the estate is a lot closer, but I’m not sure we’d make it all the way from here. Not at least without stopping at a few alleyways.”   
  
Merrill snickered, waving at Hawke as if to tell her to stop with such scandalous talk. Truth be told, she was more than likely right, as Merrill couldn’t imagine spending the next few hours doing anything other than reuniting with her beloved in ways that were both loud and messy. “Let me just take care of one thing first.” Merrill winked.   
  
Reluctantly, Marian let go of Merrill, but not before giving her rear a soft slap to go with it. She watched those hips swing left and right as Merrill went to look for something from a crate behind her desk.  Not wanting to be just idle and wait, Marian gathered the clothes from the ground. Luckily her robes were big enough for Merrill to fit under as well, as it’d be just silly to put clothes back on now when she’d only take them off a moment later.   
  
Marian raised an eyebrow when she saw Merrill turn around, holding a wooden sign in her hands. “What’s that for?”   
  
“Well, I have a feeling that I won’t be able to come back to work tomorrow, so I’d rather let everyone know that. After all, I have this feeling my legs won’t be able to carry me tomorrow,” Merrill giggled.   
  
Marian was quick to join, laughing alongside her beloved. “Don’t worry, I can carry you though.”   
  
“You better,” Merrill winked. “After all, you’re the one causing it.”   
  
The sign hanging on Merrill’s office wasn’t maybe the most fitting, as she was far, far from sick; but it got the job done. Just what was in waiting for the two of them in the future was uncertain, but at least one thing was now certain: whatever awaited them, they’d face together.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me at tumblr http://lordofspiritsandbazongas.tumblr.com/ If you have ideas, suggestions, feedback, comment, anything like that, feel free to contact me.


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